Competence Kink… Yeah, I have that…
I’m pretty sure all of Tumblr is behind him in this one.
I have it all planned out. First a Coulson movie, then a sequel, and then a trilogy. There will be a Coulson Comic, and Coulson memorabilia (I’m thinking squirt guns). Followed by a Coulson TV spinoff.
And finally CoulsonLand. Think the training scene in Men In Black where J has to shoot hostile aliens….but with corn dogs and people dressed up as Coulson walking around the park taking pictures with kids.
He still believed in heroes.
An Agent of Conviction
^excuse me as I sob into my cereal
My darling, awesome badass baby
when i find myself in times of trouble
agent coulson comes to me
speaking words of wisdom
If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch “Supernanny” while you drool into the carpet.
sorry i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me sobbing
I HAVE ALL THESE PHEELS!
I CAN’T HOLD ALL THESE PHEELS
ALL OF THE PHEELS
SO. MANY. PHEELS
Agent Coulson meeting his younger self
I CANNOT HANDLE THIS SHIT ANYMORE GUISE
#YOU JUST USED THE CAP’S SHIELD TO LEVEL YOUR TUBES#I REQUIRE NOTHING FROM YOU BECAUSE I’M GOING TO GO HOME TO MY VINTAGE CAPTAIN AMERICA CARD COLLECTION #OMG TONY I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU #AGENT COULSON OUT
AVENGERS SPOILERS AHOY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD is secretly the Vision. I’ll tell you why.
- The movies have already established that both Synthezoids (Captain America) and Life Model Decoys (Avengers, Iron Man 2 [Stark Expo]) exist. Fully passable androids are already around.
- Coulson has never exhibited emotion, not once. He remains cool calm and collected in the most insane situations. Even after being stabbed through the chest by Loki he barely bats an eyelash and advises Fury to use his death to motivate the team.
- Coulson was somehow able to get through Stark Tower’s security systems basically unchallenged
- When talking about Coulson after his “death” Fury says he “lost his one good eye”, a clear reference to Coulson’s codename Vision. Coulson has acted as Fury’s eyes in the field in every single aspect of the Avenger’s Initiative
- The one subject he expresses any real enthusiasm in is Captain America, a contemporary of Jim Hammond, the original Synthezoid on which the Vision was based.
- And most importantly, if this is true then Phil Coulson is alive.
Please be alive Phil…
Apparently Whedon told Gregg that Coulson would survive. [x]
OK but here’s my thing - I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. Because that sure as fuck isn’t Steve’s shield - Steve’s shield is a solid metal thing made of vibranium that was created literally decades ago.
So - please - someone tell me. WHAT IS THAT.
You know, originally I thought it was one of the prototypes Howard Stark built for Steve in TFA? You know, when Steve’s all “Wow, these are really interesting, Howard, but my soul tells me I should take that one that’s made of a rare precious element that you do not wish to part with!” But looking at it again, there is no chance that Howard Stark ever presented that to anyone as any kind of functional shield…
…and then I remembered that Coulson is a dyed-in-the-wool Captain America fanboy. THUS I HAVE CONCLUDED IT IS SOME SORT OF RARE CAP MEMORABILIA, LIKE A “LIMITED EDITION CAPTAIN AMERICA SHIELD” THAT THEY RELEASED IN 1972 (because that thing reeks of the 70s, let’s not lie) TO TRY TO ~RECAPTURE THE GLORY~ OF THE CAPTAIN AMERICA FRANCHISE. They pulled it off the shelves after three weeks because it wasn’t selling, but the die-hard Cap fans know it to be priceless, since the unsold shields were melted down and reused.
For this reason, I imagine the rest of this scene goes as follows in Coulson’s head: THERE ARE ONLY 60 OF THESE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD, MR. STARK, REMOVE IT FROM UNDER THAT COIL AT ONCE. I WILL BE KING OF THE CON WITH THAT ITEM, MR. STARK. KING. OF. THE. CON.
Agent Coulson is my spirit animal.
Excuse me while I wail and beat my head off a brick wall.
Yeahhhh, so i saw this on the clintcoulson page, and felt the need to write it for someone<3 Warning : Seriously sad : [ <3
…my emotions, i think you just broke them.